6 years later- Update

If you've stumbled across my blog you may have wondered: Where did she go? Why did she stop posting when she was making good head way? September of 2019 I became pregnant with my second child. I did a pretty decent job at not gaining a ton of weight with the pregnancy like I did with my first. I tracked everything to make sure I didn't use the pregnancy as an excuse to over eat. I gained a normal amount of weight while being pregnant and a large part of it was gone shortly after birth. Within months of having her I started focusing more on fitness and eating healthy. With my first child I feel like I just fell down a really bad path and got to my highest weight ever so I was very careful to not get back to that mind set. 

Here's a weight time line: 

May 2019 207 lbs (very close to my highest ever of about 220 lbs), my last post here

September 2019 205 lbs , got pregnant 

June 2020 224 lbs , days after giving birth

November 2020 185 lbs, 5 months post partem 

I was pretty stable at around 185 pounds for about 2 years. At the time I wasn't completely happy with that weight but I was also not disgusted by myself. 

The end of January 2023 I ended my relationship of 13 years and marriage of 6 years. I share children with this person and the decision was not made lightly. I was at a point where I felt there was no more hope. I felt I'd exhausted every option to try to make it work and felt the other person just didn't care about me and even worse, I felt he hated me by how I was treated. I voiced my concerns, pleaded for change, gave more time, listened to false promises, etc. I let it drag out years longer than I should have but at least I can say I exhausted every effort before splitting up my children's parents. I'd finally opened my eyes and seen behaviors from my Husband that I couldn't believe I somehow justified. I asked myself "How can I even call myself a good mom when this is what I'm allowing to happen in front of my children?"

Just as I'd expected, my ex made the divorce a drawn out and arduous process. It was extremely stressful and financially draining. It took 18 months for me to get a divorce. I was trying to lose weight during this time originally but the stress made it come of even faster. I lost my appetite and I was working out quite a bit. I was proud of myself that I was consistently walking 2-3 miles a day at a fast pace during breaks at work. I was running, doing the elliptical, and strength training two times a week for 45 about an hour. I went from about 185 pounds in January 2023 to 148 pounds in September 2023. Almost 40 pounds down in 8 months. By May of 2024 I was down to 140 lbs for a total loss of 45 pounds. I maintained that through October 2024 when I weighed in at 141 pounds. It got to the point where I actually felt that I looked too skinny in certain outfits and I was looking almost frail despite having muscle from working out. 

I got some of my appetite back after the divorce was over and I wasn't working out as much because at this point my workout times turned into date nights. I believe that shift is why I've put back on about 10 pounds over a year to a year and a half. My worry is it will keep creeping up. I have a wonderful boyfriend and we enjoy going out to eat and cooking food together. He supports my efforts at healthier meals and enjoys them too so that's very helpful. He'll even grill salmon for us or cook an entire meal of items I've chosen. I think what it ultimately comes down to is I need to work out so I have that muscle burning calories for me. I also allowed some sugar and carbs and "bad" things to creep back in. Lately I've tightened up on those items so hopefully I'll see some results. I'm currently 151 pounds and I'm happiest with my body at about 142-145, so I am actively trying to cut weight but I haven't been very strict I must admit. I am quite scared to continue yo yo dieting for my whole life and I know what to do. I know I have to stop the weight gain now before it continues to creep up. I finally like how I look in clothes and I've built up a decent wardrobe in size small items. I'd be pretty annoyed if I can't wear that stuff. I threw away all of my larger clothes saying 'Never again!".

Anyways, this is getting quite long so I'll leave you with some comparison photos for reference. I'll see if I can make time to do some updates on my blog on what works for me for weight loss and what I will be doing to maintain. I can't let this creep keep happening! 

P.S. August 2024 was when I turned 37. I recently turned 38 years old and it is nice to feel more vibrant than I did at 30!